Affair Rally Capital
Fund CHEAT · Prospectus
Narrated · free · 8 min
The only fund that reads the gossip pages as a term sheet. When a tech chief's private life goes public, we buy the stock.
The market does not care where the chief executive slept. It cares whether the servers stay up, the trucks leave on time, and the board can read its statement without crying.
So when the tabloids find a second phone, we do not sell. We buy. Then we wait for the lawyers, the settlement, the apology email, and a stock chart that never once looked back.
Brin's split was reported after the market closed on 28 August 2013. Alphabet has since grown nearly fourteen-fold. The marriage did not.
When a board says it has full confidence in its chief executive, it means one thing: do not sell. We take boards at their word. It is the only part of the story where anyone does.
MacKenzie Scott left the Bezos marriage with about 4% of Amazon, roughly $36 billion at the time. Amazon did not notice. It is up +221% since the divorce was announced. She has since given away billions, which is the most responsible thing anyone in this fund has ever done.
The company has tens of thousands of engineers. Only one of them was distracted.
$70,000 in. $300,310 out.
$10,000 into each position, bought at the close on the day the story broke, held to 11 November 2026.
| Position | Story broke | $10,000 became | Return |
|---|---|---|---|
| GOOGL | 28 August 2013 | $138,190 | +1,282% |
| AMZN | 9 January 2019 | $32,080 | +221% |
| MSFT | 3 May 2021 | $20,690 | +107% |
| ORCL | 7 September 2010 | $52,920 | +429% |
| MCD | 4 November 2019 | $14,570 | +46% |
| TSLA | 25 July 2022 | $14,560 | +46% |
| GOOGL ² | 25 July 2022 | $27,300 | +173% |
| Fund | 7 positions | $300,310 | +329% |
Real closing prices, adjusted for stock splits, price return only. ² Alphabet's second entry, July 2022. Everything else is the champagne.
Each position, with the day the story broke marked on the chart. Oracle and McDonald's have their own chapters below.
Catalyst. Brin's separation from Anne Wojcicki is reported after the close, along with a new relationship with a marketing manager on Google Glass. Brin was not the chief executive; Larry Page was. We do not discriminate by title.
Strong buy. The glasses failed. The stock did not.
Catalyst. Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos announce their divorce. Within a day, a tabloid is printing his text messages.
Strong buy. He kept 75% of the shares, and all of the rocket company.
Catalyst. The Gates divorce is announced. Two weeks later, reports say Microsoft's board investigated a relationship with an employee from twenty years earlier. He had already left the board, in March 2020.
Hold. We bought the building anyway. Windows still opens.
Catalyst. The Wall Street Journal reports a brief affair between Elon Musk and Sergey Brin's then wife. Musk denies it, in stronger words than these.
Pair trade, leg one. One rumour, two positions.
Catalyst. Same rumour, same day. Brin is in the fund twice.
Pair trade, leg two. Loyalty is rewarded.
In August 2010, HP's board forced out its chief executive, Mark Hurd. An investigation into a contractor's complaint found no harassment violation. It did find he had broken the company's conduct rules, including inaccurate expense reports.
"The HP board just made the worst personnel decision since the idiots on the Apple board fired Steve Jobs many years ago."
Larry Ellison, to the New York Times, August 2010
A month later, Oracle hired Hurd as co-president.
Correlation is not causation. It is, however, a brochure.
| "We have full confidence in our chief executive." | Do not sell. |
|---|---|
| "We have launched an independent review." | Do not sell yet. |
| "A consensual relationship with an employee." | We found the emails. |
| "We are taking legal action to recover compensation." | There were more emails. |
Catalyst. McDonald's fires Steve Easterbrook in November 2019 over a consensual relationship with an employee, and lets him leave with his severance. The next year it finds more, and sues. In December 2021 he agrees to return about $105 million. In January 2023 the SEC fines him $400,000 for misleading investors about how he left.
Buy. The only position in the fund where the money came back.
Not every opportunity trades. On 16 July 2025, the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert found Astronomer's chief executive with his arm around the company's head of people. They ducked. The stadium filmed it. So did the internet.
He resigned three days later. She resigned the following week. The company then hired Gwyneth Paltrow, the singer's ex-wife, as a temporary spokesperson, for a video about data pipelines.
Astronomer is private. We could not buy it. We have written to Coldplay asking for the tour dates.
Position initiated · 8 November 2026
Our first holding with a foreign institutional investor. Alleged foreign institutional investor, says Compliance.
Jensen Huang tells Nvidia's staff, by email: I was unfaithful to my wife.
The New York Times reports, citing people briefed on the intelligence, that the woman was a spy for China's Ministry of State Security. China calls the allegation a smear.
Says it has no reason to believe that either national security or NVIDIA secrets were compromised
, and that it has confidence in Jensen and his leadership team.
Translation: do not sell.
Nvidia −4.3%, while the market rallies.
Nvidia −5.5%. The President says the FBI is looking into it. Three House committee chairs had already asked Huang to brief them by 18 November.
Nvidia +2.9%. The rally has begun.
Compliance has asked whether a honey trap counts as an affair. Legal says yes.
This frame is reserved for the next chief executive.
We do not know who. We only know the board will have full confidence.